Some of my best friends are gay allies

Well I know this was a work thing but I’m going to write about my attendance at the Stonewall Workforce Conference 2015 anyway.

I was excited to have been asked to go. I go along to the University of Sheffield LGBT network group on a regular basis, I tweet the occasional words of wisdom from the account and I think I’m a pretty good role model. I promised to “live tweet” from the network twitter account @TUoSLGBT throughout the day. I not actually sure if there are any other ways to do this apart from “live” but hey - sounds good.

I was excited on a personal level as it would be the first professional conference I was to attend where you can pretty much guarantee, that as a vaguely butch lesbian, I would not be in the minority. I was confident I would even be able to go to the loo without receiving the funny look or even the challenge “do you know this is the ladies?”

An early start to catch the 7 am train. The day started well as I was treated to a glorious sunrise while driving across the moors towards Chesterfield. I was also warmly greeted on the train by a Sheffield colleague, whom I hadn’t met  before, based in HR. We were hopefully meeting up with another colleague who was travelling from a different starting point. 

We arrived in London, we wandered out the tube and headed off in the exact opposite direction as I’m using my phone to navigate, quickly rectified and we arrived at the venue - the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre.

I was not disappointed, lots of lovely short back and sided lesbians to make me feel I belong. Not only was it OK to go to the loo, but of course there was a gender neutral toilet just in case! This was Stonewall’s first ever trans-inclusive conference, making it all feel rather wholesome. It’s important to remember the T in LGBT and one of the things I took away was a reminder of the important distinction that the T is about gender identity and the LGB is about sexual orientation. The two however can fit together well to drive forward the diversity and inclusivity agenda.

Ruth Hunt et al on stage - my tweet behind on the wall

I sat and listened in wonder. First up was Ruth Hunt, a wonderful speaker, extremely engaging, and pretty hot! She spoke of the great steps we had taken towards inclusion, but even with equal marriage, we can still be spat at in the street. It’s a long time since that’s happened to me, I’m incredibly privileged to work in a University that's got good policy for Diversity and Inclusivity, I’ve a lovely family and live in a neighbourhood where, to date, there hasn’t been anyone opposed to our sexual identities. But that’s not to say it won’t happen again, of that I am fully aware.

One thing I found, is that Stonewall do a lot of work through personal stories and experiences. I think this is an excellent way of getting a message out, nobody can resist or challenge an account of someone's feelings. 

I enjoyed the session how to be a good LGBT role model, sat next to a lovely gay Mexican, we had to exchange personal stories. We parted at the end of the session with him sending kisses to my lovely wife and daughter - how cool is that! You don’t get that at library systems conferences that’s for sure.

We caught up with our other Sheffield  colleague. She reported that she thought she had seen me earlier, I must have a double…what - another woman with a short back and sides with glasses, here, what were the chances!

Final keynotes - still a packed auditorium, you don't get that at the end of the day at library conferences either.

Benny Higgins, the CEO of Tesco’s Bank gave a powerful and inspirational talk.  He focussed on the people and their value transcending everything else. He rolled out the Oscar Wilde quote “Be yourself as everyone else is taken” and read a poem by George the Poet with such conviction it left quite a few in tears. (In a good way). Pretty good stuff for a banker.

Last up on the podium was Ayla Holdom. Britain’s first transgender pilot. She started by saying she was just a simple pilot, but my goodness she is so much more. She sent out a strong message about being authentic. To stop apologising and comment positively. She was seen as being mentally unstable by The Sun, she said she wasn’t mentally unstable, had a certificate to prove it, she was just trans. I didn’t actually write any notes whilst she was talking, I was too wound up in her amazingness, her touching personal account, her words. Simple actions are important. A standing ovation and this time not a dry eye to be seen.

#EqualAtWork 

Quotes that stuck in my mind

“A workplace that successfully engages with workforce is 20% more successful”

“LGBT allies can have a huge impact on inclusivity”

“Nothing about us, without us”

“There is power in that individual story”

There was a lovely sunset when I drove back over the moors, and my lovely female family waiting with pizza and wine.  Kisses delivered from the gay Mexican. Possibly the best day I’ve had at work for a long time.

The view from the loo! (well - the hand washing bit)

We didn’t go to Sheffield Pride, although I may have taken similar photos if we had

Yes, it’s that time of year...Pride or a carnival, Pride or a carnival...well this year, a Carnival won out  - Bakewell Carnival to be precise. Maisie and I had been to Bakewell earlier in the week, heard the fair music, seen the very end of the raft race and that was it - we were hooked into the carnival festivities and the all the candy floss of the fair, like a duck!

We squash into the little car (easier to park) pick up a friend of Maisie’s and head off in the sweltering heat to find the fun. First we have to find a car park. Dodging shopping trolleys full of novelty items and oompaloompas wandering around in the streets we head for the large, just out of town car park in Bakewell. Huzzah for the little car, we squeeze quite nicely in-between a car and a camper van. Nice. However, in that Great British tradition, the occupants of the camper van are picnicking inside the van - in the car park. They lean out of the window and say "don't park there, how on earth are we going to get out?" We thought they could maybe get out by simply driving straight forward and driving through the bloody great camper-van-sized gap. Not wanting to cause an argument, we found a lovely spot next to the river. 

Tempting though it was to stay in the car and take refreshments there, we headed out to seek entertainment in carnival and fair form.

We were not disappointed. Child and friend head straight for the candy floss, I head straight for the weapons and attempt to win Leanne a ridiculous stuffed Unicorn. The girls were successful, I was not. All I won was a piece of card with two holes in - only one through the star. Leanne was polite in accepting what I’d ‘won’ and managed to hide her disappointment well. On to the carnival.

It was soooo hot, we wandered through the carnival entrants, we were impressed by the variety of vehicles and avoided the bouncy castles, rodeo bull experience and random toilet queue. When we got to the classic cars we knew we were at the end of the display. I’m sure Leanne liked my suggestion of buying a classic car which would mean we would always get a good parking space at such events. Next year, I may just roll up in my Citroen C2, pop the bonnet and stick a random number and rosette on the front - sorted.

People had been lining the streets for hours to get a good view of the procession. We arrived just at the allocated start time. The Police closed the road as we walked up, so we just wandered along the road, and stood right next to the start, in the road, choice.

We were amazed and delighted by the carnival procession. Men with cans of beer dressed as Mary Poppins, girls (Carnival queens) in frilly dresses stuffed into the back of cars waving (what is that all about?) Men dressed as women, women dressed as gnomes, yep just like Pride.

Leanne and I wandered about hand in hand without a care that we might be stared at strangely or challenged. There was so much weird stuff going on around that no one noticed or minded. So my advise to all, if you are the only gay in the village, just go to the carnival to recreate the Pride experience. There maybe fewer moustaches (and they're mainly on the girls) but that’s all.

Back to the car via a little bit of thrill seeking and a proud sunny day was had. Happy Carnival/Pride one and all.