Car Boot Considerations

Following on from the popular post Jumble sale etiquette I bring you...car boot considerations.  

The boot was bulging, the cockerels were cock-a-doodle-dooing the teen assistant was dressed and ready (a miracle in itself) we were all set to go. Using an element of guess work I reverse out the drive, no chance of seeing out the window past all the crap treasures squashed in to sell.

Consideration number one

Have the requisite amount of money upfront...sensibly car boot organisers want their pitch fee upfront (just in case no one thinks your treasures are worth parting with their hard earned pennies for)

Consideration number two

People that hover round you car as soon as you arrive are traders, consider politely asking them to piss off and come back when you have finished un-packing. 

Consideration number three

Talk to teen quietly, nicely and clearly, they could go off at any moment. Being a teen, being up incredibly early, being without breakfast because they didn't understand the instruction to eat something before we left the house renders teen completely without any idea how to be helpful apparently (some might say - just like normal then - but I'm too nice)

Consideration number four

People at the car boot that turn up this early are a little crazy. Just keep smiling and nodding. 

The man who chatted to us for a full five minutes was my favourite. He was clad in a big ski jacket, had ski goggle type glasses on, a giant blingy watch and the worst teeth I've seen in a long time. Unfortunately we couldn't understand a word he was saying. Occasionally we caught 'Essex girl', 'Bargain hunt' and 'car boot' I sure it was a fascinating monologue. He appeared again several times during the morning, I felt we were good fiends by the end.

Actually people who turn up at any time of day to a car boot may all be a little 'eccentric' you just adapt.

Consideration number five

Send the teen to buy espresso, hot chocolate and pastries as soon as there is a convenient gap between chatting about car boots I have known and loved and listening to comments like "I wasn't going to come to another car boot I don't need anything, ooh how much is that plate?"

Consideration number six

When you agree to sell something for 50p that originally cost you £8 smile, consider yourself  grateful! When people get offended that your prices are way too high as they are just buying for the church, just smile and say that's nice. When you agree on a price of £1 and the bloke gives you a handful of coins CHECK  IT. It will add up to only 54p.  

Things to remember

When it's pissing it down with rain...just think sods law would mean that you would only be camping in a field instead of trying to flog your old plates and jumpers in one.

People who say "do a car boot you will have fun and make loads of money, we made £200" are lying.

A charity shop desperate for donations is only a car drive away.

You could have a new Facebook friend (if only you could have caught his name)

The woman at Age Uk will be really grateful.

Actually we must have shifted a fair amount as we could see out of the back window when we packed the car up. We felt good for having provided an element of care in the community. We made £57.

Jumble sale etiquette

Stage one Sorting

• Never put your hand into a bin/carrier bag of clothes, ALWAYS empty out onto the floor. There could be anything in that bag. Nobody wants to handle second hand undies
• Always check biscuit/cake tins for contents and no matter how edible the contents may look do not consume
• Never judge a box by it’s cover
• If it's sticky use protection
• If it a good quality coat which you wouldn't mind secretly putting to one side and donating a fiver for...it belongs to another helper

Stage two Setting out the Display

It is crucial to ensure all the spouts of the novelty teapots which have been donated, are aligned pointing away from the door, or is that elephants always need to be pointed towards the door? All chips and cracks face the back or obscure by taller object.  Vases can be used to display the ever present fake flowers, I'm sure we saw them last year.

Stage three Selling

Have the float in the middle, start high, ask the purchaser their best offer, end up accepting 20p because you know you need to get rid of as much stuff as possible at the end of the day. Do not critisise the merchandise or peoples decision to buy broken crockery under any circumstances. 

Example One

 “Elderly woman struggles in with a donated stool for us the sell. Stool has three legs, when it should have four. Missing leg is attached by string. Woman suggests it would be a lovely project to re-attach the as it’s a lovely antique stool. Unfortunately hundreds of wood worm agreed the stool was desirable.  Anyway, we accept the donation, left it on the floor in front of the display. Some time later, guide leader approaches and says what’s with this stool? I start a sentence with “some old lady came in” stop sentence immediately as she is still stood in front of our table considering chipped novelty ornaments. Co-bric-a-brac attendant is waiving arms around pointing to lady, indicating it may be inappropriate to be disparaging about the goods we have for sale. Guide leader however continues and says, well I suppose we can take it round the back for burning! Eventually I manage to convey “Stop talking” using the art of mime and identify woman as donator. The woman was, fortunately for us, completely oblivious. Guide leader has the luxury of being able to walk away and piss herself laughing. Our penance was to be trapped behind the counter faced will selling very nearly offended donator of broken stool some broken crockery for 50 p. We have learnt our lesson.”

Stage four Bagging Up

When bagging up, when the guy will only take clothing it is important to learn the art of secreting non clothing objects in the bags to ensure he will take as much away as possible. Also be very flexible of the definition clothing, for example lamp shade could be clothing because you can wear them on your head right?

Count up the takings and relax, jumble had been redistributed around the village for another year, children have increased their immune systems and the rag and bone man is now the proud owner of a couple of jigsaws and a photo album.