Handy print out and keep guide to how not to camp

1. If the weather looks like this on the way, those clouds are not going to blow over, TURN BACK NOW.

2. DO NOT take a dog to oversee proceedings with a disdainful, long face.

3. ALWAYS be familiar with your tent i.e. don't buy it months earlier, leave it in the bag and expect to be able to assemble it quickly whilst rainclouds are threatening. Otherwise you will need to consult the instructions again, again and ...again.

4. DO NOT allow the dog to think it was all for his benefit.

5. DO NOT allow the dog to help cook the evening meal.

6. If your destination looks like this, ask if there is an available caravan for hire. If your pitch site looks like this after you have packed up, please go to the doctors as you may have trench foot.

PRINT OUT THIS HANDY GUIDE AND KEEP IT WITH YOUR TENT