Some of my best friends are gay allies

Well I know this was a work thing but I’m going to write about my attendance at the Stonewall Workforce Conference 2015 anyway.

I was excited to have been asked to go. I go along to the University of Sheffield LGBT network group on a regular basis, I tweet the occasional words of wisdom from the account and I think I’m a pretty good role model. I promised to “live tweet” from the network twitter account @TUoSLGBT throughout the day. I not actually sure if there are any other ways to do this apart from “live” but hey - sounds good.

I was excited on a personal level as it would be the first professional conference I was to attend where you can pretty much guarantee, that as a vaguely butch lesbian, I would not be in the minority. I was confident I would even be able to go to the loo without receiving the funny look or even the challenge “do you know this is the ladies?”

An early start to catch the 7 am train. The day started well as I was treated to a glorious sunrise while driving across the moors towards Chesterfield. I was also warmly greeted on the train by a Sheffield colleague, whom I hadn’t met  before, based in HR. We were hopefully meeting up with another colleague who was travelling from a different starting point. 

We arrived in London, we wandered out the tube and headed off in the exact opposite direction as I’m using my phone to navigate, quickly rectified and we arrived at the venue - the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre.

I was not disappointed, lots of lovely short back and sided lesbians to make me feel I belong. Not only was it OK to go to the loo, but of course there was a gender neutral toilet just in case! This was Stonewall’s first ever trans-inclusive conference, making it all feel rather wholesome. It’s important to remember the T in LGBT and one of the things I took away was a reminder of the important distinction that the T is about gender identity and the LGB is about sexual orientation. The two however can fit together well to drive forward the diversity and inclusivity agenda.

Ruth Hunt et al on stage - my tweet behind on the wall

I sat and listened in wonder. First up was Ruth Hunt, a wonderful speaker, extremely engaging, and pretty hot! She spoke of the great steps we had taken towards inclusion, but even with equal marriage, we can still be spat at in the street. It’s a long time since that’s happened to me, I’m incredibly privileged to work in a University that's got good policy for Diversity and Inclusivity, I’ve a lovely family and live in a neighbourhood where, to date, there hasn’t been anyone opposed to our sexual identities. But that’s not to say it won’t happen again, of that I am fully aware.

One thing I found, is that Stonewall do a lot of work through personal stories and experiences. I think this is an excellent way of getting a message out, nobody can resist or challenge an account of someone's feelings. 

I enjoyed the session how to be a good LGBT role model, sat next to a lovely gay Mexican, we had to exchange personal stories. We parted at the end of the session with him sending kisses to my lovely wife and daughter - how cool is that! You don’t get that at library systems conferences that’s for sure.

We caught up with our other Sheffield  colleague. She reported that she thought she had seen me earlier, I must have a double…what - another woman with a short back and sides with glasses, here, what were the chances!

Final keynotes - still a packed auditorium, you don't get that at the end of the day at library conferences either.

Benny Higgins, the CEO of Tesco’s Bank gave a powerful and inspirational talk.  He focussed on the people and their value transcending everything else. He rolled out the Oscar Wilde quote “Be yourself as everyone else is taken” and read a poem by George the Poet with such conviction it left quite a few in tears. (In a good way). Pretty good stuff for a banker.

Last up on the podium was Ayla Holdom. Britain’s first transgender pilot. She started by saying she was just a simple pilot, but my goodness she is so much more. She sent out a strong message about being authentic. To stop apologising and comment positively. She was seen as being mentally unstable by The Sun, she said she wasn’t mentally unstable, had a certificate to prove it, she was just trans. I didn’t actually write any notes whilst she was talking, I was too wound up in her amazingness, her touching personal account, her words. Simple actions are important. A standing ovation and this time not a dry eye to be seen.

#EqualAtWork 

Quotes that stuck in my mind

“A workplace that successfully engages with workforce is 20% more successful”

“LGBT allies can have a huge impact on inclusivity”

“Nothing about us, without us”

“There is power in that individual story”

There was a lovely sunset when I drove back over the moors, and my lovely female family waiting with pizza and wine.  Kisses delivered from the gay Mexican. Possibly the best day I’ve had at work for a long time.

The view from the loo! (well - the hand washing bit)